|One Clean Puppy|

So, I totaly crack up every time Tasi does his business. you know, poops.

when we are at the apt, we have to follow him out the door and around the corner on the big balcony with a napkin ready. then as soon as he squats, you got to put the napkin under him and catch his lil poopies. sounds gross, but you get used to it. anyway, as soon as he is done he peels out, rounds the corner, and doges three circles in front of our door. then as soon as you open the door, he takes off inside, jumps on the couches and is the happiest lil pooch on the earth. oh, side note, if he poopies, and its messy, yeah, we wash his tooshie hahaha. hey, at least we know he is one clean puppy!

Some Pictures

PLACE DOWNTOWN WHERE WE GET OUR SUSHI

VIEW FROM OUR BALCONY

SUGAR DOCK IN THE EVENING

MY SCHOOL CAMPUS

CAMPUS

MEMORIAL PARK

MEMORIAL PARK

WHERE WE GO WALKING OUT BY THE AIRPORT

CRAZY CLOUDS THIS DAY!

THE CLOUDS WERE LIKE A HUGE WALL

AWESOME CLOUDS, THE ROAD HEADING TO OUR APT

BEACH ROAD WALKING PATH. IT RUNS FOR LIKE 3 MILES OR MORE. BEAUTIFUL

November 15, 2010

As i sit here on this new old couch i look around me. Tasi is laying on the cool linoleum floor and Jan is sleeping on the couch. The longer couch mind you. Though I'm ok with the short couch. Its rather snuggly over here. The aircon above me is dishing out nice crisp cold air while the fan in the corner fights to push the cool air around the room. Thank god for aircon aka A/C. My eyes are getting heavy. For some reason I was extra tired today.

Classes are coming to a close for fall semester. and amazingly the second semester begins soon. I was hopeing to get all A's but it looks like probably A,B,C,C. Ugh. Ill def report once i get my real grades though.

The weather here is the same. Though i am seeing pictures of the pretty yellow colored leaves at home, here the suns still hot, and the palm trees still stay in the breeze. I cant wait to take pics of us on christmas day, on the beach.. how weird haha.

jan and i have thought about trying to fix a video of us driving through the island and going to some of the more important places and uploading it to youtube or something. I will def put it up here though.

Well, im out. Its 11pm here tuesday and should be 8am at home, Tuesday. I miss you home, but this new spot of earth feels so right.

Happy 3rd Birthday Tasi Boy!!!!

Wow. So Tasi is turning 3 tomorrow! So I guess in doggy years thats, what, 21? So I thought about grabbing a pony keg down the road, but I think he is a bit too conservative. Soooo I think Im going to stick with the midget strippers and that chick that dances with fire. All dogs of course. I mean, my boy, ok, OUR boy (Jan did technically have him fiiiirssttt... *rolling eyes*) well, he deserves the best. So, he will get it! hehe


Here is a little memento of him! Enjoy!

Looking deeply out the car window is a typical moment with this boy!

These two are INSEPARABLE!

"Yes I am cute. I get it from my mom"

Best Friends. 

My sweet boy. 

Laundry day. October 24

So lits laundry day. The sky is grey. A car just came cruising in to the space next to me almost blocking my ass in the car because they parked two inches from me. I loaded my clothes, poured in the detergent, and began putting my quarters into a broken machine. Thankfully the maintenance man was here. He usually is because there has to be a machine breaking down every day. And I sit here. In the quiet safety of the car with tasi boy. I take a deep breath, push out any wanting, begging thoughts I may have of the nice house with a balcony, fenced in yard and get this washer and dryer, out of my mind. Its ok. I can deal with this. Whew. Don't I feel better.

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So today I met up with a woman over in the Education Dept for my school. It was yet another incidence that happened that made me very happy and excited at the thought of working with Special Education. She has already said which classes I should take and I will be in there to register the FIRST day of registration!! But the thing she said to me today was something that gave me this feel good feeling all day...

She asked how I liked the Disabilities in Society class. I told her I loved it! I got a 100% on the midterm, and everything we did in that class just came so naturally to me. Thats when she looked at me and said "well then, thats how you know you NEED to do that as a career" I know something so simple may seem like nothing to most, but I guess to me, to keep meeting new people everywhere I turn who seem to be guiding me down the path I must go, honestly just makes me straight up EXCITED to be in school!!

I am constantly posting pictures on my facebook page of the sky here in Saipan! I swear to anyone reading this, that every day here there is some sort of magical show going on just overhead. Whether it be lightening, rain, a beautiful deep blue sky, or clouds that look like they could engulf you any moment. But honestly, the most amazing things to me, are the the sunsets. I think Im going to try and start catching as many as I can just so I can post there here. Who knows, maybe this will just end up being my Sunset Blog! :-)

I want to end with a quote I found:

“Those who dwell among the beauties and mysteries of the earth are never alone or weary of life.”

The clouds tonight are like huge fluffy monsters being illuminated by the bright full moon. Jan and I went out to the balcony and once the cool breeze hit us I looked at her and said " hey, why don't we go for a drive". So we did. With tasi hanging out the window and the breeze that makes me happy to be alive pushing my hand back I could only smile. How the little things mean so much to me now in life. I think I have gotten to a point where I have been through so much now, I am done with freaking out over the small stuff. I am learning more how to stand up for myself.

So jan and I have been together for a year and 7 months. I can't believe how fast this has gotten here. I remember in the times we had our downs, and I just kept wondering if we would ever even get to live together. Little did I know it would be living on this cute, lively little island.

The past two days its been raining. Its funny how even when its raining here I find it beautiful.

So one thing I want to bring up. Fixed up cars looking and sounding like they are ready to race you every time you pull up next to them. Its especially funny when they pull up to our gold nissan sentra, tasi hanging out the window, jan looking all bad ass, and me laughing and looking away. .... Please don't tell me jans going to try and race this dude. Of course she's smart enough not to ~looks at jan~ I guess its something to pass the time here. Its just funny bc I'm always thinking, where the heck do they race?!

Well, I'm peacing out now. Much love. And even mucher laughs. :-)
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How time flies...

So tomorrow , Sept 20th, will be month number 4 for me being here in Saipan. It is funny how I feel like I haven been here longer, yet how time flies...

I am now feeling comfortable in my classes. Even have made some friends there. I share more than one class with at least 6 people, so its nice to have familiar faces around.

Today it has been rainy all day. I woke up to Tasi barking at the thunder. He gets pretty scared of it, and though it rains almost every other day here, we rarely get thunder and lightening. I miss thunderstorms. Though I have been keeping my fingers crossed that we will go untouched by any big storms. Many have been hitting China, which is good for us, but not good for them. Especially with the landslides they are having right now!

Saipan is beginning to feel like home to me now. I have always felt comfortable here, but now I am beginning to feel like this is yet another home for me.

Jan and I have now moved on to not only feeding dogs but now cats. We have two grown cats and this cute lil black and white kitten down in the parking area. I want to just pick them all up and bring them upstairs. Every time I mention it, Jan gives me a look like "I dare you".... hmph I can save the kitten if I want to hehe

I cant believe how fast this year has gone. Jan and I are talking about the possibilities of what to do for Christmas this year. Going home is probably out of the picture since its hella expensive.

Well, im going to wrap it up. While everyone at home sleeps, Jan and I are going to pay a few bills, check the mail, and enjoy the rest of our Tuesday!

Its that time of year

So this morning I woke, threw on some outside clothes, leashed up tasi boy and walked out the door to let him do him morning business of peeing on our car tire. Most mornings its already hot and once I step out I'm usually already forming sweat beads on my back. But today was different. The wind was cool. Almost like the end of september can be at home. The sun is still shining through but that wind was just amazing. I think tasi was even surprised because when it was ready to go in he punked me into thinking he had to go number two. And after a few minutes I realized his deep black eyes were closed in the wind. I'm such a sucker. Or he is just hella good at being all cute and getting what he wants.

One thing that was always on the back of my mind was the thought of "Am I going to miss fall/winter?" The answer to that is and will always be, YES. Don't get me wrong. Being able to wake almost 6 days of the week to bright blue skies, a low hot sun, and clouds that seem close enough to touch is pretty amazing. This is something that never gets old to me.

I am going on 4 months here this month and its weird because one part of me can't believe I have been here this long and the other part of me feels like I know this place. Its so strangly awesome to be uprooted to a place you have no way of preparing for but getting there and feeling like you have been here before. This place is somewhere I will tell people for the rest of my life to come and visit at least once. I would love to see the islands here, but I don't think that's going to happen.

Well I'm gonna wrap it up. I'm going to finish my coffee, get jan ready for work, and come home and do some class work. Or better yet, maybe ill take tasi and my books to the park.
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Blog Chats

So it is coming to an end of my 3rd week in classes. I really am enjoying school. I told Jan that I am focusing my mind in on all A's! I know I can do it and I know I WILL!!

Saipan weather lately has been beautiful! Sunny days, hot sun, yet the breeze is cool. I wish we could be laying out on the beach right now or out on some adventure, but I have another class in 2 hours. Maybe tomorrow..

I will admit that a part of me has started to think about how the weather might be back home in a month or two. Cool fall weather kicking in soon... but here it will be hot still haha... It makes me feel like summer is constant here. The funny thing is though, I dont mind it. I was laying down on the couch this morning and looked at my feet and I actually have a nice lil tan line from my reef flip flops haha its always the little things....

I know this one is short but Im going to go enjoy my few hours I have with jan and tasi boy... I will admit it sucks that when she has off from work I have class and when I have the weekends off shes working... but, its what we do... and sometimes, you just gotta do what you gotta do...

Butterflies Gone Wild Family Affairs

So, for the first time Friday I was going to be meeting one of Jan's brothers, Gerald and his family! When I got the call my belly started to flutter around like mad with nervousness. Over a year and a half I have only talked on the phone with any of Jans family, and that was 2 of her sisters actually. So this was something I was very excited about. Jan was able to take off work so that we could spend time with them. They had their twin boys with them who are so polite and cute and entertaining! We drove them around the island and got to have an awesome dinner with them at the Hyatt where they were staying. We shared so many laughs and stories. Patty got her nails done. That was our "girl" time. And that night at dinner we found her getting down with the band that was playing. All i remember is one of the boys looking at Gerry saying "Daddy, look at what your wife is doing" Cracked me up! And to top it off, we got the band to also sing happy birthday to Gerry. They live in Guam, and I hope that we get to go see them

soon! Family is something that I cherish, and thats something I have to thank MY family for! No matter what, you should always be there for one another. I have already considered them as a part of my family now! And I hope that is mutual! :-)

So now I am back to being a student, and somehow it feels great. After I went to Cortiva in NJ and had to take and pass classes like Anatomy & Physiology, Kienseology (or muscles), Business all of which in 6 months instead of a year, I have had a lot more confidence in myself when it comes to being a student. I left Cortiva with a 3.8 GPA and a built up self esteem. So now, yes, I am in fact that student whom is always sitting at the front. I even try to arrive extra early to make sure i get a front seat, though here, its like Im usually the only person in the front anyway.

So I declared my Major. Teacher in Special Education. The funny thing is, teaching has been something in the back of my heart and mind since I was little. And the even funnier thing is, without Cortiva I would have never really known that I have a passion to work with children with mental and physical disabilities. Even Autism was really introduced to me at Cortiva, when I decided to do a report on it for my class. Though my report was actually more on the different therapies you can do with a child with Autism, its almost like, that was just a small part of what I am supposed to do in my future.

So, this semester I am taking 4 classes, which add up to 13 semester hours. 2 classes a day M-Th and one evening class F. Not bad actually. Perfect for me.

First there is Math. Contemporary Math actually. Its more like learning and making your own strategies that can actually be used in real life. Like forming a rout for a postman so it lowers cost and increases profit. Those sort of, I didnt understand till now, sorta things. My Teacher is from the islands. Whether it be Hawaii, or CNMI I dont know. But all I do know is he is funny and smiley, and does a pretty good job at breaking things down for you. I am the only Caucasian in actually ANY of my classes. So, I have gone from being majority to minority, and honestly, I believe everyone should have to do that at some point in their life. Just to be clear that there are so many other kinds of people on this earth, and they too, are only humans like us.

I also have a Public Speaking class. Which I like. I can use the things I learned back in my drama days at Stuart hall for this. Though I still get nervous when I have to get in front of people and talk, I am learning to realize, its just talking. My teacher is Caucasian, but I believe she said shes been working here maybe 16 years? Very laid back. Nice lady. She seems to know and understand the culture here very well, which is nice to see. Every day she has us work with a partner, which I know is so we can meet the people in our class. Most of the students in that class are local girls and a couple local boys. I did have a funny guy from, I believe Korea sitting behind me. He was nice and we joked around a little on the group work. Its nice to be somewhere that I can be me, and make jokes, and not be looked at like Im some twenty eyed Medusa or something. Anyways....

Then there is my Political Science class.... "Principles of Democratic Institutions"..... *blank look, which then turns into a scared look, which then morphs into the oh shit look* I have never been good with history or political classes. Why? I am not sure. Maybe its a little things called apathy I might have over politics, but it has always been the class I did the worst in. This class is bigger. My teacher is like someone you would think to find in a movie or a book. He is 62 I believe and looks 43. Makes me wonder if living here slows down the aging process. He definitely knows his stuff in politics. Past, present, and he seems to think , the future. He is very proudly a republican, which is fiinnnneeeee but he does sort of teach as a republican, instead of being a political teacher, and allowing us to think our own things. But like I said, he def knows his stuff!

Then my class on Friday evenings is my Disabilities in Society class... but, our teacher didn't show last night. So, what does Lauren do? She jokes at the class about the "He's got 15 minutes, then we run" which everyone laughs, gets quiet for a second to think, "well thats true, the white girl might be on to something", and then we all get started on the count down. I know Im really going to love that class!! So far, it was only myself and 5 others. 4 women and one man. All of which are older, and I enjoy that. They know how to work and play, but come out smarter in the long run. So, I am excited to get started in that class.... next week I guess ha.

You know, most of my classes, there are at least 5 different nationalities. Korean, Chinese, Japanese, Philippine, and Micronesian or from the Pacific Islands. And the great thing is, I feel the most at home when i am surrounded by diversity. I have never known why, but I felt this even back in high school. Coming from an elementary school of 99% white and 1% black, (though I hate these labels because I know even with me, I am not white, but more pasty colored.. ) it was nice when I went to a more mixed school. That was just the beginning though. When I went off to Stuart hall Boarding school for Drama, I was then faced with meeting people I only read about in books back home. Germany, China, Japan, India, South Africa, Korea... maybe more but thats just where close friends of mine were from. I thrive in diversity. I thrive on learning about culture and religion and customs. Here, on the Islands, there are so many! Especially with the older generations. One day, once I learn a bit more, I will post them here...

I want to end this by saying:

Never say that you are too shy or to scared to do the things you want to do. Never allow language, or location, or distance keep you from being happy, and going places you wish to see. Yes, it can be scary to think of the CHANGE in surroundings, but, that change is knowledge. Learning to communicate with someone of a different language helps you with learning how to bring it back to the basics. Going somewhere far away, makes you realize that yes, you love your family and your home, but damnit, you are able to stand on your own two feet. And location... do you know the nearest walmart or real honest true western store except for the expensive duty free here on Saipan, is Guam? Dont allow fear of change to keep you from moving somewhere or even visiting. Go somewhere that the necessities might not be as attainable. Why? You learn to figure things out. You learn to work with what you have. You learn to appreciate things you had back home.

Many people take hard situations, (and I am as guilty as anyone) and turn them into negativity. But, we all have to take a breath, and make the best of what we can out of it instead! Keep your head up, and your abs in, and walk in the situation ready to get the most out of it. Every thing we fear, then get past, and learn from, is one thing more than what we had the day before. Strength.

Saipan Tribune::

""Public education officials unpacked yesterday crates after crates of 5,200 brand new laptops that will be given to the Commonwealth's secondary students in private and public high schools.

Education Commissioner Dr. Rita A. Sablan, along with school principals and program managers, gathered at the system's Lower Base office to witness the opening of the newly delivered items.

“This is making technology accessible to our students in the secondary level so that they can access the information superhighway. Because we want them to reach out and know what's happening out there in the world and in the community, allowing them access to this electronic equipment.will raise a very important awareness level for them,” said Sablan.

She said the laptops-Latitude 2100 netbooks from Dell Corp.-will be given to incoming 7th to 12th graders in all public and private schools.""

Jan and I were eating dinner last night and saw this on the news! I was amazed! It is awesome to see how they really do try their hardest here to make sure the kids have the best education possible.

Im sitting here listening to the rain, thanking the earth for the cool wind that is washing over me, and just thinking about things. Jan had to wake at 4am so she and tasi are sleeping. Its so cute to see them when they fall asleep together.

Life here has become the norm for me. The heat is something I dont even think about. Just comes naturally to get used to being sweaty and showering 4 times a day. I dont think I will ever get bored with the surprise of closing my eyes while Jan puts some sort of new local food in my mouth for me to try. We went to this small building that I have passed by many times a day, and she sent me in to buy 6 doughnuts. I was thinking to myself #1 we dont need 6 of them and #2 we wont be able to eat 6! I opened the door to the right. There were two there and the door to the left was for eating in, and the door to the right was for take out. I walk inside this tiny cement building. I am greeted by a very nice local woman. I ask her for 6 doughnuts. As shes getting them I admire a religious shrine thats up on the wall. I am being looked at by the glass window that separates the two rooms by a younger girl. She was sitting with two older women whom Im guessing were her mother and grandmother. All of which were locals, and had that beautiful long dark hair that I find myself admiring when I get to see. (also reminds me of my besties back in NC who are from the islands) :-)

So the lady comes back with this bag of plain looking doughnuts. I get two bottle of ice cold water, and head out to the car. I admit I was hungry. It was breakfast time. The doughnuts to my surprise were rather warm! Jan said they are called galaxy doughnuts. I took one bite and I had this earth shattering feeling go all over me. Oh My GOSH! I have never tasted anything so satisfyingly comforting. I felt like that one bite solved the worlds troubles. That one bits wiped away all the tears being shed around the world. Laugh at me, but I will say, coming from Krispy Kreme land, I know a good doughnut, and let me tell you. THIS ONE WINS!!! I decided to change the name to EARTH SHATTERING DOUGHNUTS.

Anyways, I have some bad news. The skinny doggie we were feeding "Princess" got hit by a car and died. This was very sad news to us, but I honestly was thankful that she didnt have to live in this cruel world anymore. I was thankful that she wouldnt live another day in the hot heat with barely any food and water. My heart was crushed and happy at the same time. Sometimes I wish all the stray dogs could go, just so they wouldnt have to live the way they do.

Jan bought me some awesome makeup kind of as a thank you for helping her. I must say, the response I have been getting from the asian population while wearing the makeup is a LOT nicer than when i dont.... why is this? I want to point out right now that I am not racist, but honest. And sometimes honesty is taken alllll wrong. But I dont understand why so many of the non locals here see so angry all the time. Here I am , walking up into the post office, big ol smile, ready to exchange hellos and have a good days... and when I walk in, im lucky to get a look up and if I do, i get this look like "stop bothering me" And I know, who knows... maybe they are just having a bad day... but damn... every day?! haha

Jan and I went to the Duty Free Galleria and I loved it. There are all the crazy expensive shops. Tiffany & co. Cartier. Chanel. LV. and the list goes on. Im going to put some pics up from there. I was surprised we had shops like that here hahaha

well Im signing out. I think im going to join jan and our boy in the air conditioned bedroom and try to get some shut eye.

" ALL THAT WE ARE IS A RESULT OF WHAT WE HAVE THOUGHT. THE MIND IS EVERYTHING. WHAT WE THINK WE BECOME. - BUDDHA"

I woke this morning, hearing the cars passing by on a soggy road. I must have slept through any rain that passed us by, but it looks like it wont be stopping for awhile.

This morning was like all my mornings here in the Pacific. Stretching, turning on my side trying to let my eyes focus. Wondering what today had in store for me. Wondering what good things would come about and wishing away all the bad and negative.

I woke this morning with a drive to be better. I am not a bad person, but I know there are things about me that need tweaking. I guess from my past of events, the death of my grandfather, which i still to this day have not accepted and dealing with an absent, here one minute gone another father, I fear losing those closest to me. I dont know if it has been the rain or the fact that in a few days I will be given that wonderful earthy gift us women were given, but I have been on the emotional side.

Do you ever look around you, and wonder what you are going to do when the one or many you love are taken from you? I know this is a heavy topic and not like most of my posts here on my site, but, i feel talking about it will help me, and maybe even someone else.

I honestly am so happy here. Here with Jan and with Tasi. With the land and the sea, and the rain and the wind. And when I think about losing it, it as in Jan and Tasi, it tears me up inside. I know that one day, we all must go... but nobody ever said that would be easy! I feel sometimes, when I get emo like this, I tend to overdo the I love yous and the questions. This is something I know I need to address with myself. Nobody but myself makes me feel like I will lose everything. In stead of worrying about that, I need to think about this moment, right now, and live by that. Think about how I am happy NOW, not what will tear my heart from my chest in the future.

One of the first questions asked of me when my age versus jans is added to the conversation, is how can I be with someone so much older. Arent I scared of being here after shes gone. ....

Hell yeah I am! How could I not be?! If I wasnt... something would be terribly wrong! I would not be an honest, trustworthy girlfriend if I answered no to that question.

Before I came here. I broke up with jan. I dont know if it was fear. If it was being scared of allowing myself to feel how I felt for her. Knowing that all the odds. The distance, time, age, life... all so easily threatened to keep us apart. I thought what I had done was for the best. Then a millisecond after I tried comforting myself with that thought, I was on the floor. I had actually reached in my own chest, and with my own bare hands, proceeded to pull my own heart out and separate it from my body. There was blood on my own hands.... from my own self. I had never felt this. I had never hurt myself this bad. It seemed that each day got harder, when from my past experiences, each day got better for me. But not with her. Not this time.

But it was too late right? It was too late to try and fix this? The things I had said, out of fear, and anger at myself for even being scared. What was right? What was wrong?

*breathe*

I finally let myself breathe....

and think...

I was in love.

IS this what it felt like, when love, true love, was taken from you?

Some part inside me didnt want to feel this ever again. I didnt want, at that moment, to feel what it was like to know I didnt have her anymore. This was love.

I looked down at my heart. Barely beating in the palm of my hands that sat resting on my knees as I stayed there on the floor. There is still always time. I still had time to fix myself, and to talk to her. I wouldnt blame her, if she acted like I was the last person on earth she wanted to talk with....

but we spoke.

And we loved.

Do I worry about being and living my crazy, adventurous, giving life without Jan? Every waking moment. No, not every waking moment, but every moment I am here, or there, or wherever I may go after this life is done.

Every morning, when Im stretching, and laying on my side to let my eyes adjust, I thank whoever is above, for one more day. I will do this, till the end. And whether life, death, or whatever may pull us apart, I will always be thankful for her. For what we have shared, learned, given, experienced.... and for all that we have loved together.

I hope she knows this. And I hope that she knows I adore her. Adoration is a universe of its own. Love is open. But adoration, it strong.

I hope that me being so open today, may in fact inspire someone to open up. Even if just for a second. Make sure those around you KNOW how you truly feel. Dont hold it in. Even if its bad. Or if it hurts. Sometimes, we need to allow those feelings to be put into life, just to learn from them and to live in happiness again.

It doesnt matter what anyone says.... love who you love. Its one of the most real and giving emotions we were given as human beings. Dont let it go to waste....

i. love. you. jan!

i. love. you. family!

& anyone I have met in this twisty life of mine....

Its been awhile since I have written anything. I am beginning to get going with my life now. I still have not heard about the job, which angers me. I called a week after my interview, left a message, and still nothing... Its been yet another week. Hmm

But I am not discouraged. If I get it, great, if I don't, then I look for something elsewere.

So, funny thing happened yesterday. Ok, we have two car keys. This way when I have to run in anywhere I can keep the car locked but keep tasi boy in the car with the ac running. Well I had to run a few errands yesterday, and headed home. When I got home, I saw some of the doggies we feed and I wanted to say hello to them. So, I opened the door and got out. Now earlier I had forgot that I took the spare key outta my bra... Yes... My bra... Don't ask, it was jans idea haha. So, I got out, said hello, and came back to the car, still running with the ac on and tasi inside... And the door won't open. O. M. G. That's all I could think. Oh my god I have not only locked the keys in the car but I have locked tasi, aka jans LIFE in the car. Ok Lauren, check all the doors... Ok, check again... Needless to say, after three times of checking the doors, I knew I had to call jan. Initial reaction... Anger... Frustration... Fear. Yep I coud hear all of those in her voice. " Um baby, I have a problem..." Followed by details on how in the world I could do that followed buy "ok, by" from jan. Yep, no I love you... She'sssss pissed... Well. She got a ride to our place ane after 15 sweaty minutes of pulling the car door ajar wide enough for her to use a hanger ... The door popped open and tasi boy was laying in the seat sleepy, cool, and happy to see mama jan this early!! So, that was a fun moment... -rolling eyes-

I'm sitting down freom the airport waiting for jan to get off work. - look to my left and I see a vast sky filled with the biggest clouds I have ever seen, till I came here. The sun is going down behind them which casts a glow around the fluffy clouds. Its amazing.

You know, every day I am thankful that my eyes get to witness such beauty. I look at the huge mountain in front of me, and wqonder where life is going to take me next. Being that its so much to fly home, jan might take me on a trip for the holidays. Its almost 1/4 cheaper to fly towards the west. I hate thinking I won't be home for thanksgiving or christmas, but I am happy. I know the family will understand...

Well, the sun is almost down and its time to go get my woman!

Remember... Live your life for you! Don't allow anyone to try and push you in the direction they want you to go. Because in the end... Its your happiness you have to worry about... Not theirs. And vice versa...

Peace
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Sunny days never fade away... In saipan

So amazingly, I am beginning to love the sun. I am naturally light skin, light eyes, blond hair and have a terrible past relationship with the sun. But now we get along quite well. We go to the beach together, walk in the park together. Its beautiful really... Haha but for real. I came here thinking I could never tan. But the thing is, I was so scared to burn at home (too scared of the aging effects I guess) that I never went in the sun. But now, being that I can't help but be in the sun here, we actually have a thriving relationship.

Of course my arms are right now the darkest thing on my body. But, I think if I can make a week of laying out for awhile every day, then this hot mama will be a TAN hot mama!

I honestly think the coconut trees and palm trees everywhere kind help though. I mean how could you not enjoy a nice warm, I mean HOT sunny day with palm trees? Ahhhh how amazing it is where life has taken me already these 25 years....
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Life's Surprises

It has now been almost 2 months since I arrived here in Saipan. I cant believe how fast time is passing by. Now that I am happy, it seems weeks go by in a heartbeat! It is amazing how since I have been here, I dont worry or think about time or what day it is... I know now what people mean when they say "Island Time" :-)

I put in an application at one of the nice resorts here on the island. The Pacific Islands Club Resort or the PIC. I put in for housekeeping. Something that , in helping mom with the houses while I was home, I knew I could do. Though I tend to be more of a people person, I honestly right now just wanted a nice job, in a nice place, that was pretty stable. And that I could kind of come to work, do my job, and get home. I know that might sound terrible, but, dont worry, my train of thought has def changed.

I got a phone call from the secretary of the Executive Director of Housekeeping there for an interview. Of course I was free, and excited so we got it set up for the very next day at 1:45pm. Holy hell was I nervous! I called Jan right away, excited.

So the next day, after prepping myself for a good hour, I headed to my interview. When I drove up, there was a parking spot right there. I was way early, so I called jan again for some moral support. (talking with her has always been the best cure when I need to be calmed down ) :-)

Walking up to the Employee entrance, I started to feel a tad nervous, but confident. That morning, I sat down and had watched the dvd The Secret. AMAZING! If you have never seen it, just WATCH IT! If anything its a good boost of positivity for yourself when you need it. So, I was feeling pretty good. I checked in and was called back. I followed this short local girl down the concrete halls of the resort. Chairs lined the edges and broken lamps sat there waiting to be fixed. She told me to take a seat and she will be with me shortly. Of course I was sweating terribly, being it was so hot down there. She called me into a room and asked me to sit again. So I sat, as straight as possible with my ankles crossed and my pocketbook in my lap. I kept pushing the nerves down the best I could.

Finally I saw a small petite lady come out of the office which sat behind the door I was facing while sitting and waiting. She had on a white polo and khaki pants. She led me inside and closed the door behind us. Now, I was WAY nervous. She seemed to get straight to business. Looking at my application up and down. Asking questions about my experience. She said she liked I had had so much of it. And all of a sudden, as I sat in that chair in that unfamiliar office, telling myself, your getting the job, i want the job, im awesome at what I do.... she began to get comfortable with me. She asked why I was here, told me her story of how she came from hawaii and fell in love with the island here and has been here with PIC for 10 years now.... and we sat and laughed. She even thanked me for allowing her to open up and share with me.

The interview turned more into what felt like employeer/employee meeting one on one. We were laughing and sharing, and she asked me questions about my character and I was giving her the most honest answers... and the best part, was that my most honest answers, sold me! I didnt have to lie... well except to say that Im a tidy person outside of work... though since I have been here I AM! haha

So, she began to tell me about the positions. What a housekeeper there did, all the areas. Laundry, room attendant, and the grounds/common areas. She then told me how there were so many supervisors on staff also.... aaannnnddddd that she was looking for another.......... *cue heart racing like mad NOW* ...... she looked at me... and asked me if I would be interested?! I sat there, looking at her Im sure shocked as hell. SUPERVISOR?! OMG! All I could say was, YES! Of course! haha.... she laughed and said, " I know its going to be a lot of work, and learning, but I know you can do it".....

There comes a time in your life, and hope we all feel it at some point, where you are given WAY more than you expect! I knew that I had started my day rocky, but in changing my thoughts to positive, and happy, and excited about the interview, here I am being told that she "doesnt want to sound biased, but I am the one she wants for the job"!!!!! Of course, she told me that she still had other applicants to interview, but she really seemed like she wanted me for the job!

SO! I WILL GET THE SUPERVISING JOB! That, my friends, is what I will be telling and have been telling myself and the world since that moment. When we were done, she gave me her card, and we laughed a little more and she told me that it should be roughly a week, and if i wanted to see about the progress to give her a call! WOW!

I will tell you now... when I walked out of that room, I think I was 10 feet tall! At least thats how i felt! Passing the next interviewee, and saying bye to the girl who brought me back there, i knew I had the job.

Now, (though I am not going to allow myself to think this anymore after this sentence) If I was NOT to get the supervisor job, or they couldnt afford it (she said that might happen) then, that is ok. I know or think haha that I will def at least get housekeeping room attendant.

*deep breath

* and release.... damn.... it feels good to BELIEVE in myself!

Foods

Here is a small collage I made of some of the foods I have tried. I have had Vietnamese, Chamarro, Japanese, Thai....

Shake, rattle, and OMG

So, today, at 344pm I felt my first REAL earthquake. I know the first night I was here I felt a tiny one, so tiny i thought it was just a neighbors door shutting. But today, I was sitting at the computer, and I felt the same thing. I looked around to see if tasi boy was maybe laying beside the chair and itching, but he wasnt. Just as I was texting jan that I felt a tremor, it really began to shake for maybe 3-5 seconds. I know thats not long, but for an East coast girl, it felt like the biggest known to humanity! haha

The whole entertainment center was shaking and I was trying to stand to get to the boy. He ran to me right after and once it stopped I went to the balcony to look out. Of course, I wouldnt see anything, and of course everyone outside this apartment were fine. Driving like nothing, walking around like nothing. Maybe I imagined it? How the hell could I?

Then the phone rang. It felt comforting to hear Jan on the line. Asking if I was ok and telling me that it was indeed a good almost scale of 5 earthquake. I am not sure what made it happen. I know there have been some volcanos around that have been erupting and having some life, so maybe thats all it was... all i know is... its been almost 2 hours and I am STILL shaken up!

When ants fly.....

So, I know this one will be a short post, but i HAD to share...

This morning on our way to go feed the doggies, Jan turned the car AC on pretty high. I started to see these little things flying out of the vents and onto me and tasi boy who was sitting comfortably in my lap. I ignored it at first, thinking it was nothing, then realized.... ANTS!!!!

About a week ago, I had mistakenly left some mentos in the car. YES. Sooo we were greeted the next morning with a colony of ants taking over our car.

Needless to say.... THEY ARE NOT GONE!!

I hope to bring out my killer side, and fix this problem, so as I can finally enjoy sitting in the cool air on a blistering hot day here in the pacific ocean.......

Doggie Days - kinda sad

Jan and I both love animals, especially dogs! Here on the island are, I have no idea how many, dogs that roam the streets. They have nowhere but under cars to sleep and are lucky to find food and water. Well, Jan and I currently are feeding 3 of these dogs. We even have 4 others here at the apt in the parking lot that we feed.

There is Brownie here at the apt.

Brownie 2 at the airport. I had a picture of him but not sure what happe

ned to it. I will try for another. He is an all brown street dog. Very sweet, gentle. Has been hit before. Has bad legs in the rear and is hard for him to run, but just seeing our car, he comes as fast as he can.

And our newest addition, the saddest, lil princess. Jan saw her one day while working and we have been feeding her every day. Its so sad.... I hope to get a good picture of her sitting in the tall grass under her tree.

Jan saw her one day when she was working. She is so skinny! She stays under this tree beside the road. Right now there are construction workers there, and she is STILl right there. We drive there every morning looking for her. It tears into my heart when I see her and all the other doggies here that are suffering. But, we are doing the best we can, as 2 people. We cant afford to provide as we would like, so they get doggie bisquits and food scraps, bread, anything we can muster up. Leftovers go to the babies, as we say.

Jan and I keep dreaming up this ranch home here, were we could bring the doggies into the yard and make sure they are fed, have water, and feel safe. It is very sad, but, it feels good to know that today, when we are able to feed them, they have had a meal.

If i had the money, I would fix all the dogs, put those who are suffering down, and take all the ones who still have a chance and give them the love they need. :-(

Days to remember

Well today started off like any other day. Lazy, tv, music. Though I did walk 2 miles this morning. Then jan decided we should go riding. I know its so simple but I love riding around with her and tasi. I don't care where we go, its just nice to be out taking a car stroll around the island together. We got lunch. Parked on what they call a dock but is a piece of land that juts out in the water and you drive on it. There were some men coming in from spear fishing. here are some pictures, they are a bit small but for some reason i cant get them bigger. ugh haha

After lunch on the dock, we drove up towards the mountian. There she showed me some of the places. Amazing land! Amazing VIEWS! Saw where the governer lives.

She also took me to this religious shrine here. I want to research it some so I can add the history to this and I have awesome pictures. This shrine is in the side of the mt. The roots from the trees above are like enveloping the mountain! The pictures will def show it!

THEN she took me to these apartments. Valley view apartments. OMG I fell in love. Ok, at first glance you are like, um no. But... When we drove around to the front and I saw the mountain and the lagoon view I was in love! Flame trees, coconut trees! It was QUIET!!! I just was in awe. We took a look inside. Awesome places. So, please please keep me in your thoughts, prayers, fingers crossed!!!! It has some perks on distance but... When I think of me and my lil family here , sitting there together... Sigh... Haha

On the way home we stopped at this store on the mt. Expressions. I loved it! It is run by a woman from the states, Alison. She sells so much! Wine, candies, jams, spreads! Scrapbooking things!!! It was awesome! I might even look into emailing her and asking if she would ever need some part time help around there. Maybe run like a class or something in scrapbooking or arts and crafts. Hey, it cant hurt right?

I love every day I have given to me in my life. And knowing I have an amazing partner to share this life with is breathtaking. No matter how many times I see the same flame tree, just seeing it with her beside me makes me enjoy it more and more every time!