Education from life

I have been asked so many times about how could I possibly move across the world for something I didn't know would work or not....

Well, all I can say is:

Shouldn't I think about my happiness? Isn't our happiness a part of our well being? Isn't waking up in the morning, feeling fulfilled and whole what we should strive for?

I have always been the person who believes that what life has to teach us, is the REAL education that we are here for. I always had problems in school. Its not that I couldn't do it, its the fact that all I could think was, I am wasting all this time of my life that could be used LIVING!

It seems to me that today, the theme of life is school, work, sleep. That's it. And it makes me sad. I know I may be considered as a hippy slacker, but damn it... I can breathe in the world around me. I can speak through the wind, and feel the earth thrive under my feet. Now THAT is life to me. THAT is what I believe our class room should be. Life, Love, Laughter. All three are a part of my universe. And I have made that happen since I was little. Sipping on a tea of herbs, or photographing something as small as a dew covered leaf, fulfill me. How simple that may be to some, but when my time comes, all of these little things, will add up, to being way more than all the money, and cars, and jewelry that someone else might live for. But, except for this blog, I do not go around preaching this. It is something someone has.... or they dont. I try to soften my loved ones with thoughts of acceptance, rather than anger. Though I may not be perfect in this, I learn something new every day.

In doing energy work, back in school in NJ, I began to feel how I could actually communicate with the earth around me. When I begin to think, or talk about, or act on these feelings of being a part of this earth, I feel like my whole chest is filled with this feeling of ME.

I am a woman who loves, and loves hard. I love strong. I am open about how I feel and you always know how I feel about you. When I began getting to know Jan, I knew there was SOMETHING so different, that for 10 months, before we even met, I felt like what we had was way stronger than anything I have had with anyone. What was it? I asked myself every day. I asked, why is it that this is happening with someone older and far far away?! But when I look back at all we have gone through, I realize that when I thought this all happened so strangely, with age and distance, it amazes me every day to realize how perfect it worked out with time, money, availability to come here. How everything just fell into my lap saying, take it, and RUN!

When I had to leave my mom and sister behind at that airport, my heart hurt. But I kept my head high, and I saved the tears, for a time I needed them most. They would be ok. I knew that inside. From a small child, I have felt like I had wings, and these wings, wrapped themselves around both of them. Though we had hard times with each other, I have always felt like I was their protector. And walking through that gate, and waving, knowing it was my last time, killed me. But I had to do it.


The love I have for my family, goes beyond, further than the universe can stretch itself out. I will always win. those closest to me, are my family. Sometimes I do feel guilty for doing the things that I want. The things that make me happy. Because the inside lauren, wants to stay and cater. Stay and be the one there for them all.

But here I am. Happy. Healthy. I get to wake every morning, and be with someone who loves me so much. To be with someone, who I would give my life for. Now, I want someone to ask me how could I make the move here.......

All the pictures in this blog were done by me. Usually ALL the pictures in any of my blog as done by me. :-)